The Complete Getting Laid On Tinder Guide
By Garrett “G-Wolf” Webster
This guide will give you step-by-step instructions on how to get laid on Tinder. Tinder has created a unique opportunity as a guy to have access to easy sex every night of the week. This works especially well if you live in a big city or a college town. This guide is easy to follow and even a complete idiot can make this work. However, I’m not going to give you a bunch of, “Just be yourself and everything will work out” advice. Fuck that. There are some hard and fast rules of attraction that if you don’t follow them, you will fail with this guide. If you refuse to follow the laws of attraction, no guide on planet Earth will help you. So… what are the rules?
Basic Two Laws Of Attraction
1. Be Attractive.
2. Don’t Be Unattractive.
No, I’m not being sarcastic. Tinder is an app where the FIRST thing that you will be COMPLETELY JUDGED ON is your appearance. You don’t have to be a male model, but you need to make sure that you have at least an above average body and be able to take decent pictures of yourself. If you are fat… go to the gym and come back to this guide in 6 months. If you are too skinny, eat more and gain some muscle, then come back to this guide in 6 months. How to get laid on Tinder is just like the real world, nobody wants to have sex with a disgusting body.
Let’s Take Some Photos
Alright, first thing is first… since you are only going to be judged SOLELY off of the way you look, then you are going to need to take some good pictures. I recommend taking 3 different pictures and leaving it at that. Always remember, your appearance is MOST IMPORTANT on Tinder, so don’t slack off and take some half-ass pictures. You will need 3 different types of pictures.
1. Shirtless Picture
2. Professional Picture
3. Picture of you Partying with Friends or a picture of you in a social setting with people who appear to be hanging out and having fun with you.
Your first picture (And the first picture a girl sees) should be a shirtless photo of yourself. The reason for this is that we are looking for women who are looking for the same thing we are – sex. You are looking for how to get laid on Tinder, not looking how to secure a long-lasting relationship. You want to filter out the women looking for relationships and marriage right off of the bat, and the best way to do that is to have a half-naked photo of yourself. The key to the shirtless photo is to hopefully make it non-nonchalant like having a picture of you shirtless at the beach, but if you have a pretty good body then there is nothing wrong with a simple shirtless mirror selfie.
Your second picture should be a professional picture of yourself in a suit or nice clothes and a clean haircut, if possible. This photo is basically showing a girl that not only are you a bad boy who posts a shirtless photo of himself, you also aren’t a slob loser and can clean up nicely. (Even if you are a slob loser, the great thing about Tinder is that you can create a new and improved ‘virtual’ you.)
Your third picture should be of you partying with friends. If you can’t find any pictures of you partying with friends, or if you are a basement dweller who doesn’t have any friends, then just go to some sort of social setting and meet new people and take pictures with them. The reason you want to have a picture with people around you being friendly and excited with you is that it makes you not look like a creeper. If you have read any other posts on Getting Laid Guide, then you would know that women have incredible social senses and can easily figure out whether or not they should take their panties off if some guy is a little weird. Hot women have especially well tuned social senses so this is the ultimate way on how to get hot girls on tinder. How many complete weirdos have a bunch of friends that they take pictures and party with? Not many.
Profile Description (About Me Section)
This is where you can add some personality to your profile… but don’t. You aren’t trying to be Mr. Comedian or Mr. Charming. The key to a good profile description is to hint at what you want. What do you want? Well, hopefully you want to get laid. So then, how are you going to convey that you want to get laid? You have to SELL YOUR DICK without overtly saying, HEY COME FUCK ME! My go-to for the about me section is this, “Looking for fun.” That is all I put. Those three words have helped get me laid plenty of times over the years using Tinder.
Let’s break down why this works… When a girl first sees your profile she sees a shirtless guy. She either is immediately interested or passes. If she is interested then she may click on the picture to see more. She is going to see your 3 fantastic pictures and think, “Wow, this guy is attractive.” At this time we want her to read our About Me section. If she reads it and still is interested, you have just found yourself a woman who is down-to-fuck. This is how to get laid on Tinder the right way.
Chatting (How To Convince A Woman To Meet Up With You)
OK, after swiping left or right for a while you probably have matched with a few women that you find sexy enough to insert your flesh drill into. Now we need to convince that object of beauty to become your sex object for at least the twenty seven it takes you to cum. Quality over quantity is definitely not how to get laid on Tinder First things first, you are going to have to message her. Before you start though, have a game plan. Below is the order of events that you should take her through to get from Point A to Point B in as straight and fast of a line as possible.
Chat On Tinder → Get Her Phone Number → Text Her To Meet Up → Meet Up At Bar → Take Her To Your/Her Place
Alright, so here is how this order of events is going to go down. First off, message her on Tinder. Just say, “Hello.” If she replies back, just ask her three questions (listed below) and make sure to let her answer each question first before continuing on to the next one. The following questions are qualifying questions. From my personal experience, women who smoke (weed or cigarettes), drink, or have tattoos are MUCH more likely to put out. If they answer yes to even one of the questions below, you have a high chance of getting laid that night. Here is an example of how a conversation on Tinder should happen…
“Hello” – You
“Hi” – Her
“I would love to grab a drink with you tonight, but do you mind if I ask you three questions to see if we will get along?” – You
“Sure” – Her
“Do you drink?” – You
“Pretty much every day lol.” – Her
“Ha ha, perfect. Do you smoke weed or cigarettes?” – You
“I smoke weed from time to time :)” – Her
“I like you already. Last question, do you have any tattoos?” – You
“Yeah, I have a turtle on my ankle that says ‘Love’ right beneath it. It is super cute!” – Her
“Alright, alright, stop being so awesome. Let’s meet up for a drink tonight, what’s your #?” – You
“502-382-7**4” – Her
BOOM! Just like that, you have her phone number.
You may be thinking, “OK… I have her phone number, but I’m still not in her panties.” True, but you are one step closer to smashing her slambox. There are a couple extra steps on how to get hot girls on Tinder. Now, text her real phone and set up a date at a bar. Don’t go on any other kind of date, we are trying to get laid, not get a girlfriend… alcohol is a necessity.
Once you meet up at the bar, the main point is to get her drunk while simultaneously spending as little money on your end as possible. You, on the other hand, should only have a drink or two. This is a major key on how to get laid on Tinder. You want to stay as sober as possible so that you have the upper hand. If possible get her to exit the bar and smoke weed with you. This will make her chill out and also helps enhance the effect of the alcohol inside of her. Remember, you want her to be as drunk as possible so that she is willing to have sex with you by the end of the night.
The last step is to convince her to have sex with you. Here is the line I use towards the end of the night. It is incredibly effective, although it seems like a total dumbass move. Trust me though, this line works 99% of the time because it puts you in the power position instantly. At the very end of the night before you guys are about to head back together or split apart tell her, “I had a very nice night and I would like to hang out with you back at my place, but I just have one rule that we can’t break if we go back to my place… I don’t have sex with someone the first night I meet them, I hope you can respect that.” Trust me, this line sounds crazy, and the first time I did it I thought I was being an idiot, but it works wonders. It is the perfect line for how to get laid on Tinder. This line works by putting doubt in her head. By saying that you won’t have sex with her tonight, she will automatically think something is wrong with her. She will 99% of the time take this line as a challenge and as soon as you get back to your place she will try to have sex with you. Just pretend you are too drunk to push her off and go along with it.